I began this year with my New Years resolution and a commitment to making this year better than the last. So, with my thoughts in order and a mental list of things to do, I enthusiastically began my day. As I walked the hallway towards my office I began to feel a heavy weight upon my shoulders and within moments I became aware of some thoughts that were surfacing. They were thoughts of disappointment and concern. The disappointment surfaced when I acknowledged I was bringing last year’s resolution into this year (a reminder that I didn’t accomplish it) and the concern surfaced because I didn’t know how I was going to change that.
The pressure I was putting on myself was enough to stop me in my tracks. I had placed myself in a box that was to be celebrated only when, or if, my goals were achieved. The feeling of being stuck in a self-made box was too much to bear, and my awareness is what kept me from putting the lid on it.
Fortunately, I was reminded of a “truth” when I logged onto my computer. An email was sent to me as a New Years greeting that read, “Think about when all the golden lands ahead of you and all kinds of unforeseen events wait lurking to surprise you and make you glad you are alive”.
Those words immediately filled me with joy. What they meant to me was that I wasn’t supposed to force results (creating mental madness), but rather allow them to be created through my intention and a clear vision. In that second, I knew I wasn’t going to fall under the pressure of self-made resolutions anymore. I would take a different approach and “discover” the unforeseen events that wait lurking to surprise me and experience the joy of being alive within their moments.
The unforeseen events I discovered that day was the self-inflicted pressure I had placed upon myself because of what resolutions represented to me. I also discovered the beautiful awareness that lives within me refuses to allow self-suffering. As a result, I was able to re-direct my thoughts towards a less intimidating manner. I still move in the direction of creating my dreams and desires, but not through resolutions…I do it from a place of discovery.
Discover!
