It sounds like fear of some kind. Part of doing inner work is learning to observe it and breathe into it to help yourself see what memories or thoughts spontaneously arise while you try not to figure out anything.

Thanks for your helpful resources in this blog. But – and this may sound funny, and on some level it is – I think reading about all of the scary and painful things that will happen on the spiritual path has itself been a big source of trauma for me. It's almost like I'm too paralyzed to begin to get to know myself, although on some level I know I want to. I fear that I won't be able to handle or stop something major that happens. I know that this is common, but for me it seems to be making so paralyzed I can't do anything, whether it be in my daily life or on the spiritual path. Any tips on getting past this stuck point?